what is with this nontraditional shit?

What the hell does “nontraditional” mean?

I wouldn’t know. I was raised very traditionally.  I had one mom and one dad.  I even had the requisite sibling to grow up with. My parents stayed married, and now I believe they are heading to their 37^th anniversary. Growing up, we celebrated most American Christian holidays, such as New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, The 4^th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  We did not celebrate April Fool’s Day, and please do not ask us why.

I remember get-togethers with my dad’s side of the family, and get-togethers with my mom’s side.  While there were some differences, the common theme was always food.  In particular at Thanksgiving and Christmas, I would expect to see a large spread of traditional foods. Turkey, ham, stuffing, rolls, some veggie casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, and pies. As I became a teenager, my mom let me help her cook whatever she needed if she was hosting the family holiday dinner.  As an adult living on my own, I am expected to bring either a side dish or a pie.

And I am a damn good cook, so if you invite me to some gathering involving food, you don’t have to worry because I will bring at least one food item.  That is just the way I was raised.  VERY traditionally, in every way you can imagine.

I was the oldest surviving child, and I was a girl.  My parents tried to mold me into a well-rounded kid, but I don’t think the ballet lessons, the Brownies, or the piano lessons really helped me at all.  The best thing my mom ever did for me was take me to the library.  All I needed was books.

But I digress.  In elementary school, I made mostly A’s because that is what my parents expected of me. In junior high, I joined the school band, mostly under pressure from my mom because she already had a clarinet. AND because they wanted me to have an extra-curricular activity.  In 9^th grade, I turned 16, got a job at Dairy Queen, and got a 1993 Ford wagon. 

Because that was very traditional in my family. You know, turn 16, get a job in fast food, get a car.  I did everything my parents wanted me to do.  I didn’t even start dating until I was almost 18, and I even did that in a traditional way.  Hell, I ended up engaged to be married in all four of the major relationships I had. Tradition. There were, of course, some guys who gave me what I wanted and then left, so I don’t count them. Damn, what I would do for the body I had back then . . .

Anyway, I am currently married to husband #2 and we have 2 kids.  The man supports the family, while I do what I can with my part-time job. I am the main caregiver, the one who feeds them, takes them to the doctor, and gives meds and snuggles when they are sick.  So some parts of my life are very traditional.

But back to my point, which is- WHAT the HELL is a nontraditional holiday family dinner get-together?  I’m confused. I baked a cherry pie to bring, and I hope that’s not too traditional for these people.

Elementary school is hard, y'all

                                         Elementary school ain’t no joke

          I must say that I remember kindergarten as being a time of coloring, playing, snacking, napping, and MAYBE learning the alphabet.  It was a simpler time, when you could play the morning away before your mom came to get you around noon.  That’s right, back in my day kindergarten was only half a day.  I have a kindergartener and a first-grader now, and they spend from 8:45 am to 3:45 pm in school every day.

          As for playing in school, or spending all day coloring- forget it! The kindergarten teacher has a color-coded behavior system: red means bad, yellow means the kid was sorta bad, and green is good.  Now let’s talk about Cougar, my kindergartener.  He is the class clown, as described by his teacher.  You can probably imagine that he brings home lots of yellows and reds.  The reasons are sometimes written in his folder, and sometimes not.  The written ones from last week’s red days said, “playing and throwing his hat around” and “howling during the 2^nd grade play.”  During the last parent-teacher conference, the teacher told me that all the kids love Cougar, and Cougar loves all the kids.  He gives everyone hugs and plays with everybody.  He’s very inclusive.  HOWEVER, being the class clown means that he is forever getting into trouble for not following directions or for not listening.  As far as his schoolwork goes, he doesn’t care too much about it yet.  He has only learned 50 out of the 100+ sight words he is expected to learn, and he can’t really read yet.  He knows his alphabet and can count to 100, but that’s about it for him.  He can write his name and some easy words, but again, that’s it.  He has homework twice a week.  That’s right- my KINDERGARTENER has to do homework.  Wednesday is always reading homework because he is expected to be able to read with some fluency by the time he hits first grade!  I can’t believe this myself. I think kindergarten should be more about learning through play, and NOT about pressuring these poor kids to read before they are ready.  I didn’t even begin learning to read until first grade.

          Now don’t get me started on first grade! I’m super lucky to have my smartypants son Tyger in first grade right now, because first grade is TOUGH now. They do not have a color-coded behavior system, and they don’t have snack time.   They are expected to have learned to read in kindergarten, so they start right away with spelling words, reading tests, and math problems.  Tyger usually has spelling, reading, and math homework every week.  I don’t have to worry so much about Tyger, because he’s been reading since he was 2, and he does multiplication tables for fun while the other kids are still adding and subtracting.  He goes to a special smartypants class every Thursday called ACE, where hopefully his brain is stretched, but in reality he says he just plays on computers.  Tyger has been described by his teachers as quiet and reserved, with just a few friends. He is super smart, so the classwork is boring him, but his teacher assures me that 2^nd grade will be a bigger challenge for him.  

Just a few things

Where you wish you were

I wish I was a hermit, living up in a mountain somewhere.  One of the Appalachian mountains.  I would like my dwelling to be part of the mountain, camouflaged unless you know where to look.  Because of course there must be a path down off the mountain, so that I can buy supplies and take care of any business. I would live in my part of the mountain in a cabin with floor-to-ceiling reinforced, bullet-proof windows (with camo curtains) and solar panels for energy.  I don't care if this sounds unlikely or impractical- this is my fantasy.  The cabin would have 3 rooms: one for cooking, eating, and relaxing, one for bed time, and one bathroom. In the first two rooms, there would be built-in bookcases full of all my favorite books and new ones I've yet to read.


The one thing you're most ashamed of

I am most ashamed of my first marriage.  I'm ashamed mostly because of the cost of the wedding that fell to my parents, and for failing at the marriage in the end.  I am ashamed that I believed so deeply in a rotten man that I defended him to everyone and kept giving him chance after chance.  I am ashamed of myself that I was so fooled.


The person in your life you are most jealous of

This one is easy.  It's my brother's wife.  Not that I want to marry my brother- GEEZ-  but I think she has a wonderful life.  She made a great catch when she got my brother.  He has a master's degree, he's worked for the same company for several years, he is smart and funny, and he gave her a beautiful daughter.  They get to go on vacations and travel around the world.  AND my brother's wife does not have to work outside the home.  She is an excellent housewife and mother.  I am jealous of her capabilities. She always seems to know what to do in situations where I am clueless.