Every human female of an age to understand she is a woman shall abide by the Woman Code. Women have historically been perceived as the lesser gender, and been taken advantage of. Our bodies may be weaker, but our minds are wilier. We, as a pack, as a gender, are craftier and stronger in spirit than men realize. Aren't we the life-bringers, the child rearers, the homemakers, the career women, the teachers, the lovers, the caretakers, and the defenders of our families? We do it all because we are in an age where we must, and we women are the only ones who understand. But some ancient ideas/rules hold true, and they shall be known here as the Woman Code.
- When we reach the age of dating, we do not steal each other's boyfriends or move in on a friend's interest. As married adults, we do not wreck marriages by tempting otherwise loyal husbands to stray. Sometimes relationships do not work out, and they do not need the added stress of cheating. The mistresses/secret lovers defend themselves by saying that the wife/girlfriend should have kept her man interested and he wouldn't have strayed. This may be true in some cases, but it is still WRONG to actively chase after an attached man.
- Women must never reveal their true power over men. It is not sex, it is all in the mind. A woman figures out her man pretty quickly, and knows how to get what she wants while making him think it was his idea. However, this must be done delicately so that he never figures it out.
- The bond of sisterhood and friendship must be unbreakable even through long periods of no communication. A woman may find her kindred spirit, and with that person she can pick up wherever they left off, however long it's been. Meanwhile, shared secrets are sacred and promises are not to be broken.
- Women must stick together. We are all we have against the tyranny of men. There are many more men in power than women, so we must do what we can to make our voices heard. We must get out and vote, hold our ground, speak our minds, and refuse to be silenced or ignored. Sometimes it has to come down to chicks over dicks.
***this is a work in progress and I would appreciate any help . . . please comment below.***
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
My battle with myositis ossificans.
My Battle with Myositis Ossificans
Today I received all my medical records from my oral surgeon’s office. I’ve been looking through them and discovering things I did not know and remembering things that make me want to cry even now.
It all started in the summer of 2001, right before I started
my senior year of high school. I was 18
and I had all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. No biggie, right? Yeah . . . that was the beginning of my
battle with the bone monster, which is commonly referred to as myositis
ossificans. However, I was not properly
diagnosed for five months, during which time I was tortured and underwent
numerous tests and procedures.
Needless to say, I had a pretty crappy senior year, and no one could understand why I had to leave school early every Friday for a couple months. The doctor was sedating me and "cranking" me every week. This entailed the doctor putting me to sleep and using a crank to open my jaw.
My friends could not sympathize. I went into a deep depression that continues to this day.
Within a month of having my wisdom teeth removed, my mouth
opening had reduced to less than 1 cm.
The original doctor tried a few different medications and manipulations
of my jaw, and I was eventually referred to my current oral surgeon, whom I
call my favorite doctor of all time, Dr. Michael Duffy.
For those of you who are healthy and/or have never had a rare or
undiagnosed disease, it is extremely disconcerting and emotionally draining to
have your motives questioned as a patient.
One doctor in particular, I will call him Dr. Pain (for obvious reasons),
believed the symptoms I was experiencing were psychosomatic. Essentially, he was accusing me of
making it up and clenching my jaw on purpose.
I will never forget one torture session, in which he forced my mouth
open with tongue depressors and stuck something in it (a bite block?) to keep it open for an extended
period of time. I was crying and screaming and the nurses looked horrified. To this day, I believe he caused me much unnecessary harm
and definitely aggravated the disease. I also blame him primarily for knocking out
two of my teeth and giving me black eyes during a procedure that entailed two doctors, one on either side of me, cranking my jaw open on both sides at the same time.
Thankfully, Dr. Duffy did not believe my problem was
psychological. He was kind and patient
and very smart. In his notes, he says, “This
is an unusual case, very unusual, very difficult and I’ve never seen anything
like this in 30 years of practice.” He went on to consult with doctors all over
America and do research back to 1966.
Essentially, I was found to have myositis ossificans affecting my coronoid, pterygoid,
masseter, and temporalis muscles- all around my right jaw joint. My opening closed to 2 mm at the worst point,
and I could barely eat, could not brush the inside of my teeth, had difficulty
speaking and laughing, and when I was sick I almost choked on my own vomit
because my mouth just would not open. I
had to take a strong drug called Didronel for several months, which was supposed to stop all bone
growth in my body and cost $200 a month.
At the time, this was an experiment, because no one had ever used this
drug for this specific disease in this specific area of the body.
Every surgery I had related to this disease is described in
detail in Dr. Duffy’s notes. He used phrases
like “We got a huge chunk of bone out of there” and “It’s really impressive
what has happened with her bone since we took her off Didronel . . . She’s laid
down twice as much bone.” Also, during
the second major surgery I had for this condition, his notes say, “Once the mandible
was exposed . . . low and behold the area of bony attachment was much wider,
thicker, and greater than I thought.” During that surgery they took out a lot
of bone and put in a titanium plate.
A couple years later, my opening was totally shut down again,
requiring another major surgery. Doctor’s notes from that one included: “This was just unbelievable what had taken place.
The [titanium] plate and screws had bone over it.
She had completely filled in our gap and then some . . . I had to grind
the bone off of the plate and screws . . . we took off the first section and
got a big huge piece of bone . . . I mean this was impressive. I’ve never seen
anything like this and probably never will again.” Yeah. They took everything out that time- all the
muscles involved, the titanium plate, the bone, and my right jaw joint. The theory was that now there should be nothing left for bone to grow
on.
(Incidentally, this is when I began having my problems with painful
swelling in various places after surgery, getting more severe with each surgery
I had. This problem has yet to be
diagnosed, and it is going on 10 years.)
So fast forward 5 years from that last surgery to 2011. A CT scan showed that I had not laid down any bone at all, and Dr.
D thought I was ready for reconstruction of my jaw and joint. I was ready, my insurance approved it, and it
happened in November of 2011. The point
of this surgery was to fix my facial deformity, which was caused by the last
surgery that removed the muscles and joint on the right side of my jaw. Yes, it had opened my mouth to a point it had
never been since I had my wisdom teeth out, but it also caused me to literally
lose my smile and any symmetry in my face. Deaf people could no longer read my lips (one deaf lady got furious with me, thinking I was mocking her). I was deeply depressed about my appearance. During the reconstructive surgery, the right side of my jaw was fitted with a specially designed titanium plate, and I got a titanium right joint. The end result of the reconstructive surgery
was okay, but I still can’t smile without looking deranged, my right eye leaks, and my right eyebrow can't arch. At least I’m hinged again, although I used to love telling people I was unhinged.
And this may not be the end of the story. The Bone Monster could come back any time,
and my titanium joint will eventually wear out.
Also, on a sad note, Dr. Duffy is retiring next year. He told me a couple months ago, and I burst
out crying. Right in front of him and
his nurse. I was inconsolable, even as I
drove home, and I realized that this man, this wonderful, special,
one-in-a-million doctor had become a fixture in my life and a father
figure. He has always been there for me
when I needed him, and I will miss him dearly.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Just Chillin'
If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would it
be?
_____________________________________________________
I imagine I can include famous people and family I'd like to meet. I will start will the famous ones:
The most obvious one who comes to mind is John Lennon. I would probably be starstruck, but if I got over that bit I would just like to hang out with him for awhile. Talk to him and maybe Yoko about life.
Piers Anthony- the author of many of my favorite books. He is notoriously private, lives on a tree farm in Florida, and is well into his 70s. I would LOVE to sit down with him and discuss science and religion and politics and what inspires him.
Laurell K. Hamilton- author of the Anita Blake series. I would like to talk with her about her books, but also about love and belief systems and research.
I can't forget Jimmy Fallon, my favorite comedian, SNL alum, and late night host. He seems like a genuinely nice guy who likes making people laugh. If I met him, I would just like to have a random conversation and be an audience member on his show.
Some other famous people I wouldn't mind meeting are Micky Dolenz, Jennifer Crusie, Chelsea Clinton, Ani Difranco, Beck, and Susan Sarandon. That I can think of right now, anyway.
I am very curious about my ancestry, and I would like to meet a bunch of my ancestors. I want to know where they were during big moments of history, and I'd like to trace them as far back as the beginning of the line. Were any of them influential or famous, or did any of them hobnob with history-makers? I want to know what countries they came from, and why each of them decided to come to America, and when exactly that was. What were the occupations of my ancestors? What were they talented at? What did they do for fun? Did any of them live in a castle, keep, mud hut, or log cabin?
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Not Kicking the Bucket
List things you want to do before you die.
1.
Travel by car, bus, or train across America. I’ve been to the East coast and the Northern
and Southern borders, so I would like to make my way leisurely West to
California first. I would visit San
Francisco and then start heading North, again at my own pace. I’m sure if this trip were actually going to
happen, I would do some research and stop at interesting places along the
way. I would go all the way to Seattle,
just to check it out. Then I’d head East,
see Wyoming, and end up in Minnesota because I’ve never been to the Mall of
America. From there I would make my way
to New York City, where I would visit Central Park for an entire day, and
hopefully see a show on Broadway. After
that, I’d start heading back home because I’ve already been to Florida twice
and New Orleans once. I’d like to drive
through some mountains at some point.
The whole point of this trip would be to relax and enjoy myself and not
be in a hurry, in addition to exploring my country.
2.
Have a spa day. I’ve never been pampered. I’ve never had a massage of any kind. I’ve never had a pedicure. I’ve never had any kind of treatments that
spas offer. I am 30, I work hard, I’ve
birthed 2 kids, I’ve been through a lot of medical crap, and I think I deserve
it. BEFORE I die.
3.
I’d like to try hang-gliding or sky-diving or
something similar. Something to give me
the feeling of flying.
4.
Visit Ireland for a month. I want enough time to really explore on my own
in addition to taking guided tours. I
want to sit in pubs and observe the locals.
I want to see castles and ruins.
I want to lie down on a green, green, field and watch the clouds. I want to see all the little out-of-the-way
places.
5.
I want to read all the books I possibly can. My to-read list is already over 100, and I
want to read them ALL. The problem is
that life interferes with my reading and I add more books to the list on a
regular basis, so I can never catch up.
I feel like I need to read all the classics, in addition to all the
other more modern books I’m interested in.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Winning isn't everything, and it is certainly NOT the only thing.
WINNING:
- Coming in first place in a competition, whether it be athletic or scholastic or poker.
- Earning a trophy, medal, or badge proclaiming victory.
- Succeeding in life, including completing goals such as earning a college degree and landing the ideal job.
- Meeting your soulmate, because there are literally billions of fish in the sea.
- Gambling successfully, like picking the right lottery numbers, or getting lucky at the nickel slots.
Those are some of many definitions of winning, and everyone likes to win. Even me. If you work hard at something, train your butt off, and seriously persevere, you deserve some recognition. This is not like giving to charity- that should be a personal sense of satisfaction not to be bragged about. I am talking about winning first place in a spelling bee or sporting event. You deserve a trophy and some recognition of your skills. The old and traditional first, second, and third place trophies or medals are a good system, so why are some people messing it up?
More and more kids are being brought up to expect an award for just showing up. Simply participating. Should these kids get trophies? I don't think so. If they are working, striving, and dedicating their time to improving their skills and then they WIN a competition? Yes. Not every person deserves to be rewarded. If you don't put in the time and you don't reach the top, you need to learn to work harder or find something to do that you are better at. Rewarding everyone may be the "nice" thing to do, but it will make people lazy. How many works of art or new inventions won't be created because people have become too complacent?
How do we teach our children to continuously strive for greatness? Give them challenges. Don't let them "win" everything until the word means nothing. Make winning something to be celebrated because of all the work put into achieving it. They must learn that everything in life must be earned, and not given to them on a silver platter. Life is difficult, tricky, confusing, and a long road. I personally learned this in the worst possible way, and I hope to prepare my boys for adult life better than I was prepared. You really, really don't realize how good you had it until you leave the nest.
And then there is
LOSING:
- Finishing dead last in a competition.
- Dropping out of high school.
- Never setting or meeting life goals.
- The inability to sustain a lasting relationship.
- Losing money on gambling and not knowing when to quit.
- Breaking the law greater than a misdemeanor.
Nobody likes losing, but some people get stuck in a rut and get used to it. Recidivism. Yes, there are losers in life, just like there are winners. It's a cycle, and all we can do as parents is to watch out for it and prepare for it.
The Personal Bit:
Due to my extreme shyness and zero athletic ability, I was always picked last to be on a team in PE in grade school. Graceful, I was not. Embarrassed, I certainly was. In this particular area, I learned I was never going to be very skilled. I was, however, able to develop coping mechanisms to get me through the torture of PE, and I was never given an award for my athletic abilities. See? An award for something I was NOT GOOD AT would have only confused me as a young kid. I would have been happy to receive it, but eventually I'd wonder what I did to deserve it.
On the other hand, I made extremely good grades in school, and I read at least one book every day from first grade until I got my first job at age 16. I became very skilled at playing the bass clarinet and piano, and won awards for the former- that is, until I gave it up. I won a full academic scholarship for my first year of college. I made the highest grade in my French class every year from 8th grade to 12th and got medals for that. I got one of the highest ACT scores in my class. There were many more academic honors, but I can't remember them all.
I hope that I can encourage my kids to find something they are good at. I do not want to pressure them in any direction, but I will also instill that they must finish what they start. They can experiment in sports, academics, or whatever else they want, as long as it is within reason financially. I truly want them to each develop a certain skill to its fullest extent, whatever it may be.
- Coming in first place in a competition, whether it be athletic or scholastic or poker.
- Earning a trophy, medal, or badge proclaiming victory.
- Succeeding in life, including completing goals such as earning a college degree and landing the ideal job.
- Meeting your soulmate, because there are literally billions of fish in the sea.
- Gambling successfully, like picking the right lottery numbers, or getting lucky at the nickel slots.
Those are some of many definitions of winning, and everyone likes to win. Even me. If you work hard at something, train your butt off, and seriously persevere, you deserve some recognition. This is not like giving to charity- that should be a personal sense of satisfaction not to be bragged about. I am talking about winning first place in a spelling bee or sporting event. You deserve a trophy and some recognition of your skills. The old and traditional first, second, and third place trophies or medals are a good system, so why are some people messing it up?
More and more kids are being brought up to expect an award for just showing up. Simply participating. Should these kids get trophies? I don't think so. If they are working, striving, and dedicating their time to improving their skills and then they WIN a competition? Yes. Not every person deserves to be rewarded. If you don't put in the time and you don't reach the top, you need to learn to work harder or find something to do that you are better at. Rewarding everyone may be the "nice" thing to do, but it will make people lazy. How many works of art or new inventions won't be created because people have become too complacent?
How do we teach our children to continuously strive for greatness? Give them challenges. Don't let them "win" everything until the word means nothing. Make winning something to be celebrated because of all the work put into achieving it. They must learn that everything in life must be earned, and not given to them on a silver platter. Life is difficult, tricky, confusing, and a long road. I personally learned this in the worst possible way, and I hope to prepare my boys for adult life better than I was prepared. You really, really don't realize how good you had it until you leave the nest.
And then there is
LOSING:
- Finishing dead last in a competition.
- Dropping out of high school.
- Never setting or meeting life goals.
- The inability to sustain a lasting relationship.
- Losing money on gambling and not knowing when to quit.
- Breaking the law greater than a misdemeanor.
Nobody likes losing, but some people get stuck in a rut and get used to it. Recidivism. Yes, there are losers in life, just like there are winners. It's a cycle, and all we can do as parents is to watch out for it and prepare for it.
The Personal Bit:
Due to my extreme shyness and zero athletic ability, I was always picked last to be on a team in PE in grade school. Graceful, I was not. Embarrassed, I certainly was. In this particular area, I learned I was never going to be very skilled. I was, however, able to develop coping mechanisms to get me through the torture of PE, and I was never given an award for my athletic abilities. See? An award for something I was NOT GOOD AT would have only confused me as a young kid. I would have been happy to receive it, but eventually I'd wonder what I did to deserve it.
On the other hand, I made extremely good grades in school, and I read at least one book every day from first grade until I got my first job at age 16. I became very skilled at playing the bass clarinet and piano, and won awards for the former- that is, until I gave it up. I won a full academic scholarship for my first year of college. I made the highest grade in my French class every year from 8th grade to 12th and got medals for that. I got one of the highest ACT scores in my class. There were many more academic honors, but I can't remember them all.
I hope that I can encourage my kids to find something they are good at. I do not want to pressure them in any direction, but I will also instill that they must finish what they start. They can experiment in sports, academics, or whatever else they want, as long as it is within reason financially. I truly want them to each develop a certain skill to its fullest extent, whatever it may be.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Randomness is the spice of life
Are
you the type of person who can eat at a restaurant or go to the movies
alone? Or do you always need someone by
your side? Explain.
I was a loner as a teenager, and when I got my first car at 16, I would go to fast food places and eat by myself while reading a book. I still have no problem with that- as long as I have a book. I've also been to a few movies by myself, but a couple of those experiences did not turn out well. I don't like scary movies or any movies that have any scary elements, and I was beyond terrified when I saw my first R-rated movie. I was alone and it was Scary Movie, which was supposed to be a parody of scary movies so I thought it would be fine. Usually I turn to someone and grab them when I'm scared, but there was no one. I toughed it out just to prove I could, although I did scream loudly a few times. Years later, I went alone to see The Number 23, which was a Jim Carrey movie. I knew it wasn't a comedy, but I did not know how dark and twisted it would be. Scared the crap out of me with no one there to hold me. Again. So now I prefer going to movies with my husband or family or a friend. I will never go to another movie alone unless I am 100% sure it is a comedy or romance.
Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not?
I used to believe in a lot of stuff, like ghosts and horoscopes and fate and heaven. Now I'm not so sure. I believe in very little these days. I've never experienced a ghost. I would have to have solid proof, as in seeing one for myself.
You just got a full scholarship to two colleges: one is in New York City, the other is in California. Which one would you choose? Explain.
There was a time when I was actually very good at playing the piano, and my instructor wanted me to go to a college in New York that offered a degree in musical therapy. She thought I would be an excellent candidate to get the degree and then have a career going to hospitals and other places to play the piano as a healing instrument. I really wish I had taken her (and my lessons) more seriously. However, if all of that was not in the picture, I would choose California. My reasons? The nicer weather, I've never been there, and I could see San Francisco finally. On the other hand, I wouldn't need a car in NYC, and I could go see plays on Broadway and try to get on Jimmy Fallon. Hmmmmm.
I was a loner as a teenager, and when I got my first car at 16, I would go to fast food places and eat by myself while reading a book. I still have no problem with that- as long as I have a book. I've also been to a few movies by myself, but a couple of those experiences did not turn out well. I don't like scary movies or any movies that have any scary elements, and I was beyond terrified when I saw my first R-rated movie. I was alone and it was Scary Movie, which was supposed to be a parody of scary movies so I thought it would be fine. Usually I turn to someone and grab them when I'm scared, but there was no one. I toughed it out just to prove I could, although I did scream loudly a few times. Years later, I went alone to see The Number 23, which was a Jim Carrey movie. I knew it wasn't a comedy, but I did not know how dark and twisted it would be. Scared the crap out of me with no one there to hold me. Again. So now I prefer going to movies with my husband or family or a friend. I will never go to another movie alone unless I am 100% sure it is a comedy or romance.
Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not?
I used to believe in a lot of stuff, like ghosts and horoscopes and fate and heaven. Now I'm not so sure. I believe in very little these days. I've never experienced a ghost. I would have to have solid proof, as in seeing one for myself.
You just got a full scholarship to two colleges: one is in New York City, the other is in California. Which one would you choose? Explain.
There was a time when I was actually very good at playing the piano, and my instructor wanted me to go to a college in New York that offered a degree in musical therapy. She thought I would be an excellent candidate to get the degree and then have a career going to hospitals and other places to play the piano as a healing instrument. I really wish I had taken her (and my lessons) more seriously. However, if all of that was not in the picture, I would choose California. My reasons? The nicer weather, I've never been there, and I could see San Francisco finally. On the other hand, I wouldn't need a car in NYC, and I could go see plays on Broadway and try to get on Jimmy Fallon. Hmmmmm.
Some people enjoy getting compliments and some people feel
embarrassed by them. Which are you? What are some compliments you get a lot? Are there times when you get compliments and
don’t believe them? Explain.
I used to get compliments all the time about my looks and intelligence. Believe it or not, I was pretty when I was younger, and I was incredibly smart. I never knew how to take a compliment, though. Now, I get compliments on my cooking and customer service skills. Sometimes a random person will compliment my car's bumper stickers or my kids' cuteness. I try my best to just say thank you. It's rare that I get positive comments on my appearance nowadays, so on those sporadic occurrences, I am very effusive in my thanking.
What
are your bad habits?
My husband would say it's picking my feet. I pick at the soles of my feet, and I have ever since my son went through his struggle to live over 3 years ago. I don't smoke and I rarely drink, so I guess it's a stress reliever. I am almost always walking around on painful, bleeding, torn-up feet. My reasoning used to be that my son was hurting, so I should, too. It didn't help that I blamed myself for his medical problems. The constant pain reminds me and shames me.
What do you do to let others know you love them?
I tell my husband and kids several times a day that I love them. I also kiss and hug my kids whenever they will let me. Everyone else, I have to write to or cook for. I don't remember much about growing up, but I recall never telling my family I loved them and hardly ever hugged anyone. It's strange. I have always had a difficult time showing people affection- with the notable exception of my male friends. When I think about it, I love many people who may not be aware of it because I don't know how to show it unless you give me paper and pen or knowledge of your favorite desserts.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
I love Mental Floss!!
From my favorite magazine, Mental Floss, comes several interesting facts:
Separated into categories for my convenience:
Teeth
*The cotton candy machine was invented by a dentist.
*35% of people are born without wisdom teeth, and as we continue to evolve, scientists believe fewer and fewer humans will be born with wisdom teeth, or appendixes, or little toes.
Caffeine
*The APA's DSM-V handbook classifies caffeine withdrawal as a mental disorder.
*Colgate-Palmolive has a patent on a toothbrush that can administer caffeine.
Music
*Recent neuroscience research shows that your musical preferences are established by the time you turn 14.
*After analyzing Billboard archives, researchers found that songs about love stay on the charts for an average of 9.4 weeks and songs that don't involve love last 11.4 weeks.
Left-handedness
*Left-handed people see better underwater than righties.
*Although left-handed people make up only 10% of the population, 20% of all schizophrenics are left-handed.
Interesting foreign country facts
*In 1879, a Belgian village attempted to train a fleet of 37 official mail cats to deliver letters.
*The most common toilet paper color in France is pink.
*Japan and Russia still haven't signed a treaty to officially end World War 2.
*In 2011, the Bombay High Court ruled that astrology was a "trusted science," putting it on the same level as physics and chemistry.
*Bhutan has never been conquered or governed by an outside power. Their government uses Gross National Happiness as a way to measure quality of life.
*The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn.
Famous People
*Nobel prize winner Niels Bohr was given a perpetual supply of beer piped into his house.
*According to Stephen Hawking, if the world population increases at its current rate, by 2600 we will be standing shoulder to shoulder and we would consume so much energy that the Earth would glow red-hot.
*"Hello" wasn't a common greeting until the invention of the telephone. Thomas Edison convinced the printers of the first phone books to make it the sanctioned greeting. Alexander Graham Bell disagreed, and pushed for "Ahoy!"
*Teddy Roosevelt was famously given his own floor at a Washington hospital- not because he was the president, but because he was snoring so loudly.
*Jackie Chan claims he was in his mother's womb for 12 months.
Marriage
*The best man's original purpose was to serve as an accomplice in case the bride needed to be kidnapped from disapproving parents.
*The bridesmaid tradition started because people believed that dressing everyone in the same clothes would confuse evil spirits.
*In 2006, a Sudanese man made international news when he was forced to marry a goat- her name was Rose.
Random
*The most shoplifted food item in the US is candy, in Europe- cheese, and in Latin America- meat.
*The 1967 Outer Space Treaty forbids any nation from trying to own the moon.
*The Monopoly tokens that have been replaced are: the iron, the lantern, the rocking horse, the elephant, and the purse.
*Women with higher-pitched voices tend to be more fertile.
*Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift apart.
*Male caimans dance to impress potential mates.
*Tug-of-war, live pigeon shooting, and painting used to be Olympic events.
*Ancient Romans used an herb called silphium as birth control; it was so popular that the herb went extinct.
*Yawning is so contagious that it can spread to dogs and monkeys.
*In 1726, an Englishwoman named Mary Toft convinced a number of prominent British doctors that she was giving birth to rabbits.
*In the 1960s, the CIA launched Project Acoustic Kitty, a furtive attempt to equip cats with recording devices to spy on Soviet embassies. After $20 million was spent on the project, the prototype feline was hit by a taxicab.
Feel free to renew my subscription, anyone!!!! Best magazine ever!!!!
Separated into categories for my convenience:
Teeth
*The cotton candy machine was invented by a dentist.
*35% of people are born without wisdom teeth, and as we continue to evolve, scientists believe fewer and fewer humans will be born with wisdom teeth, or appendixes, or little toes.
Caffeine
*The APA's DSM-V handbook classifies caffeine withdrawal as a mental disorder.
*Colgate-Palmolive has a patent on a toothbrush that can administer caffeine.
Music
*Recent neuroscience research shows that your musical preferences are established by the time you turn 14.
*After analyzing Billboard archives, researchers found that songs about love stay on the charts for an average of 9.4 weeks and songs that don't involve love last 11.4 weeks.
Left-handedness
*Left-handed people see better underwater than righties.
*Although left-handed people make up only 10% of the population, 20% of all schizophrenics are left-handed.
Interesting foreign country facts
*In 1879, a Belgian village attempted to train a fleet of 37 official mail cats to deliver letters.
*The most common toilet paper color in France is pink.
*Japan and Russia still haven't signed a treaty to officially end World War 2.
*In 2011, the Bombay High Court ruled that astrology was a "trusted science," putting it on the same level as physics and chemistry.
*Bhutan has never been conquered or governed by an outside power. Their government uses Gross National Happiness as a way to measure quality of life.
*The national animal of Scotland is the unicorn.
Famous People
*Nobel prize winner Niels Bohr was given a perpetual supply of beer piped into his house.
*According to Stephen Hawking, if the world population increases at its current rate, by 2600 we will be standing shoulder to shoulder and we would consume so much energy that the Earth would glow red-hot.
*"Hello" wasn't a common greeting until the invention of the telephone. Thomas Edison convinced the printers of the first phone books to make it the sanctioned greeting. Alexander Graham Bell disagreed, and pushed for "Ahoy!"
*Teddy Roosevelt was famously given his own floor at a Washington hospital- not because he was the president, but because he was snoring so loudly.
*Jackie Chan claims he was in his mother's womb for 12 months.
Marriage
*The best man's original purpose was to serve as an accomplice in case the bride needed to be kidnapped from disapproving parents.
*The bridesmaid tradition started because people believed that dressing everyone in the same clothes would confuse evil spirits.
*In 2006, a Sudanese man made international news when he was forced to marry a goat- her name was Rose.
Random
*The most shoplifted food item in the US is candy, in Europe- cheese, and in Latin America- meat.
*The 1967 Outer Space Treaty forbids any nation from trying to own the moon.
*The Monopoly tokens that have been replaced are: the iron, the lantern, the rocking horse, the elephant, and the purse.
*Women with higher-pitched voices tend to be more fertile.
*Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift apart.
*Male caimans dance to impress potential mates.
*Tug-of-war, live pigeon shooting, and painting used to be Olympic events.
*Ancient Romans used an herb called silphium as birth control; it was so popular that the herb went extinct.
*Yawning is so contagious that it can spread to dogs and monkeys.
*In 1726, an Englishwoman named Mary Toft convinced a number of prominent British doctors that she was giving birth to rabbits.
*In the 1960s, the CIA launched Project Acoustic Kitty, a furtive attempt to equip cats with recording devices to spy on Soviet embassies. After $20 million was spent on the project, the prototype feline was hit by a taxicab.
Feel free to renew my subscription, anyone!!!! Best magazine ever!!!!
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Arabic, anyone?
If you had to pick one foreign language that all students were required to learn in school, what would it be?
Well, I live in America where the unofficial language is English. Below America is Mexico, where they speak Spanish. Above America is Canada, where they have two official languages- French and English. I chose to learn French in school, but despite 6 years of French classes, I cannot remember much. I do like the language, though- it sounds nice and flowy.
So I just did a google search and came up with a list of the top 10 most spoken languages in the world
1. Mandarin, with more than 1 billion speakers, but very difficult to learn.
2. English, about 508 million speakers, but it's the official language of more countries than any other language.
3. Hindustani, 497 million, language of India. Namaste.
4. Spanish, 392 million speakers. Has influenced English. Hola.
5. Russian, 277 million, and to say “hello” in Russian, say “Zdravstvuite” (ZDRAST-vet-yah).
6. Arabic, 246 million, one of the oldest languages and mostly spoken in the Middle East.
7. Bengali, 211 million, language of Bangladesh.
8. Portuguese, 191 million, spoken in many countries, national language of Brazil.
9. Malay-Indonesian, 159 million.
10. French, 129 million. Spoken in lots of countries and has influenced English. Bonjour.
It would make sense to me to have American children study the most-spoken language in the world- but it just happens to be Mandarin, and it is way too difficult to be worth the effort. Learning any second language fluently opens the mind to learn more languages easier, so I would start American students on Spanish and/or French. My reasoning: a) we are already doing this in most schools, b) these two languages are the closest to our country's borders, and c) they both share many words with English and are easier for kids to pick up.
I also believe we need to put more stress on learning a second language. Schools should make it mandatory to pick one language and study it every semester until graduation. No more messing around, no more firing foreign-language teachers, and no more putting this issue on the back burner. Learning a foreign language helps the brain in the same way learning to read music does. When the education system has a firm policy on this, perhaps other languages could be offered to those students who are interested and/or extra talented. I'd like to see Arabic taught in our schools, and maybe some very enterprising students could attempt Mandarin.
I really think America is being very slow and stupid and behind the times. Our student's test scores are consistently below other countries'. I look back at some of my junior high and high school classes and think it's a wonder I learned anything at all. And yet I was a mostly-A student. Something is broken in the system.
Well, I live in America where the unofficial language is English. Below America is Mexico, where they speak Spanish. Above America is Canada, where they have two official languages- French and English. I chose to learn French in school, but despite 6 years of French classes, I cannot remember much. I do like the language, though- it sounds nice and flowy.
So I just did a google search and came up with a list of the top 10 most spoken languages in the world
1. Mandarin, with more than 1 billion speakers, but very difficult to learn.
2. English, about 508 million speakers, but it's the official language of more countries than any other language.
3. Hindustani, 497 million, language of India. Namaste.
4. Spanish, 392 million speakers. Has influenced English. Hola.
5. Russian, 277 million, and to say “hello” in Russian, say “Zdravstvuite” (ZDRAST-vet-yah).
6. Arabic, 246 million, one of the oldest languages and mostly spoken in the Middle East.
7. Bengali, 211 million, language of Bangladesh.
8. Portuguese, 191 million, spoken in many countries, national language of Brazil.
9. Malay-Indonesian, 159 million.
10. French, 129 million. Spoken in lots of countries and has influenced English. Bonjour.
It would make sense to me to have American children study the most-spoken language in the world- but it just happens to be Mandarin, and it is way too difficult to be worth the effort. Learning any second language fluently opens the mind to learn more languages easier, so I would start American students on Spanish and/or French. My reasoning: a) we are already doing this in most schools, b) these two languages are the closest to our country's borders, and c) they both share many words with English and are easier for kids to pick up.
I also believe we need to put more stress on learning a second language. Schools should make it mandatory to pick one language and study it every semester until graduation. No more messing around, no more firing foreign-language teachers, and no more putting this issue on the back burner. Learning a foreign language helps the brain in the same way learning to read music does. When the education system has a firm policy on this, perhaps other languages could be offered to those students who are interested and/or extra talented. I'd like to see Arabic taught in our schools, and maybe some very enterprising students could attempt Mandarin.
I really think America is being very slow and stupid and behind the times. Our student's test scores are consistently below other countries'. I look back at some of my junior high and high school classes and think it's a wonder I learned anything at all. And yet I was a mostly-A student. Something is broken in the system.
Monday, November 4, 2013
ideal sex ed
If you could decide exactly how, when, and where your children would learn sex education, what would you consider to be ideal?
In today's world, they will learn something about it by the time they reach first grade. I did, and that was back in the 1980s. But I think I didn't really understand until I asked my mom what a virgin was when I was 10, after watching an episode of 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' She was put on the spot, and had to explain the basics to me. That was not an ideal situation. Also, where I went to school, we had absolutely NO sex ed classes. Ever. We had a little demonstration and video about menstruation in 5th grade (only the girls), and a kind of large mandatory forum of many schools put into one auditorium to talk about abstinence and STDs- in 11th grade, for one day, and NOT coed. It was clearly a scare tactic, and much too late. I knew several girls who were already having regular sex with their boyfriends, and even one pregnant classmate. There was no explaining about sex beyond the basic mechanics, no passing out of condoms or practical advice on how to avoid unwanted sexual encounters. I know that my friends and I viewed that day as a field trip, or a free get-out-of-school day. Personally, everything I knew about sex at that time was learned from my grandma's dirty Harlequins.
For my kids, I would like there to be a section in their biology class that focuses on reproduction and takes about a week to get through. I would like this to happen in middle school. I would also expect condoms and birth control to be explained and encouraged. And to drive the point home, I would like them to have to watch several graphic videos of women giving birth, presentations about the realities of STDs as told by real people, and maybe one HIV-positive person. I do not want the subject of sex to be glossed over or skipped completely. I would like all the options discussed, including the reality that sexual situations will soon be presenting themselves, if they aren't already. I want them to know what to do in a situation that they do not want to have sex, and in a situation that they do want to. I do not want them to feel ashamed of their bodies or unprepared.
In addition, I'd like there to be a mandatory sex ed class in their first year of high school, just to reinforce the information. And when they start dating, I will provide them condoms- JUST IN CASE. I will stress that they should not feel pressured to do anything they don't want to do, because I know that girls can be as forceful and horny as boys but also that sometimes the attraction is not mutual. I don't want them to sexually active so early, but I know that it will happen- so I'll be prepared. If they have a girl over to "study," the bedroom door will be fully open. They will have curfews when they go on dates.
In today's world, they will learn something about it by the time they reach first grade. I did, and that was back in the 1980s. But I think I didn't really understand until I asked my mom what a virgin was when I was 10, after watching an episode of 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' She was put on the spot, and had to explain the basics to me. That was not an ideal situation. Also, where I went to school, we had absolutely NO sex ed classes. Ever. We had a little demonstration and video about menstruation in 5th grade (only the girls), and a kind of large mandatory forum of many schools put into one auditorium to talk about abstinence and STDs- in 11th grade, for one day, and NOT coed. It was clearly a scare tactic, and much too late. I knew several girls who were already having regular sex with their boyfriends, and even one pregnant classmate. There was no explaining about sex beyond the basic mechanics, no passing out of condoms or practical advice on how to avoid unwanted sexual encounters. I know that my friends and I viewed that day as a field trip, or a free get-out-of-school day. Personally, everything I knew about sex at that time was learned from my grandma's dirty Harlequins.
For my kids, I would like there to be a section in their biology class that focuses on reproduction and takes about a week to get through. I would like this to happen in middle school. I would also expect condoms and birth control to be explained and encouraged. And to drive the point home, I would like them to have to watch several graphic videos of women giving birth, presentations about the realities of STDs as told by real people, and maybe one HIV-positive person. I do not want the subject of sex to be glossed over or skipped completely. I would like all the options discussed, including the reality that sexual situations will soon be presenting themselves, if they aren't already. I want them to know what to do in a situation that they do not want to have sex, and in a situation that they do want to. I do not want them to feel ashamed of their bodies or unprepared.
In addition, I'd like there to be a mandatory sex ed class in their first year of high school, just to reinforce the information. And when they start dating, I will provide them condoms- JUST IN CASE. I will stress that they should not feel pressured to do anything they don't want to do, because I know that girls can be as forceful and horny as boys but also that sometimes the attraction is not mutual. I don't want them to sexually active so early, but I know that it will happen- so I'll be prepared. If they have a girl over to "study," the bedroom door will be fully open. They will have curfews when they go on dates.
customer service stories
So, I may have mentioned this before, but I have worked retail since I was 16- with the exception of a 3 month temp job at Fabricut warehouse (where I located, cut, folded, serged, and shipped out fabric samples) and a doomed one month as an order puller at a Hobby Lobby warehouse (where I worked on a line filling boxes with items such as fake flowers and Valentine candy in December). Under the umbrella of "retail," I include any job that entails interaction with the public: fast food positions, supermarkets, department stores, door-to-door sales, etc.
I worked at a popular fast food restaurant on a military base for over a year. This was a very interesting job because a great portion of the customers wore their military uniforms and some carried weapons. I was supposed to call each customer by their rank as it appeared on their uniforms, but I could never remember how many stripes meant which ranks. I called everyone sir or ma'am to be safe. John Cena came on base on a day that I was working, and so did Chris Brown. The lines from the store where the stars were situated stretched all the way outside. People waited for hours . . . and Chris Brown left after appearing for only one hour, upsetting the people in the long line.
I am currently a greeting card merchandiser. Recently, I was on my knees reaching under a card cabinet, when an old man (older than 60) stopped next to me. I looked up at him, and he handed me a dime. I was surprised but polite, and said, "Thank you! I love dimes!" To which he replied, "I give a dime to every woman who gets on her knees in front of me." I was flummoxed, not knowing what to say to that. So after a pause, I started laughing.
On a related note, people like to hide items behind my greeting cards. Empty condom boxes, empty battery packs, used lipstick, empty pregnancy test boxes, etc. Evidence of stealing. You get the idea. The manager at one of my stores told me she regularly finds used condoms in the bathroom.
Of all the Walmarts I've worked at, the longest time spent was at the first one. This was a place where women were given raises for sleeping with the assistant managers and loaded unpaid-for baskets were allowed to walk out the front door without any form of intervention at night. There were many nights (from 10 pm to 7 am) when I was left alone to man the cash registers, self-checkouts, and customer service desk. A common scam teenagers pulled on me was to call the customer service phone so that I would be out of sight of the front door, and keep me on the phone long enough for her friends to walk out the door with a bunch of merchandise. I also witnessed many many many people cheating the self-checkouts, which I was usually in charge of when I worked the day shift. These particular self-checkouts had long belts and a long space between the scanner and the bagging area. That did not stop families from forming a chain of children to furtively pass expensive items down the line and into the bags, and teenagers from trying to buy beer- thinking we didn't check IDs at the self-checkouts. I had a few foreign people try to confuse me by saying it was legal to drink in their country, and they'd show me passports and IDs in other languages. I'd have to tell them that they were currently in America where we are uncool, and they'd suddenly pretend to not understand me. Sigh.
I worked at a popular fast food restaurant on a military base for over a year. This was a very interesting job because a great portion of the customers wore their military uniforms and some carried weapons. I was supposed to call each customer by their rank as it appeared on their uniforms, but I could never remember how many stripes meant which ranks. I called everyone sir or ma'am to be safe. John Cena came on base on a day that I was working, and so did Chris Brown. The lines from the store where the stars were situated stretched all the way outside. People waited for hours . . . and Chris Brown left after appearing for only one hour, upsetting the people in the long line.
I am currently a greeting card merchandiser. Recently, I was on my knees reaching under a card cabinet, when an old man (older than 60) stopped next to me. I looked up at him, and he handed me a dime. I was surprised but polite, and said, "Thank you! I love dimes!" To which he replied, "I give a dime to every woman who gets on her knees in front of me." I was flummoxed, not knowing what to say to that. So after a pause, I started laughing.
On a related note, people like to hide items behind my greeting cards. Empty condom boxes, empty battery packs, used lipstick, empty pregnancy test boxes, etc. Evidence of stealing. You get the idea. The manager at one of my stores told me she regularly finds used condoms in the bathroom.
Of all the Walmarts I've worked at, the longest time spent was at the first one. This was a place where women were given raises for sleeping with the assistant managers and loaded unpaid-for baskets were allowed to walk out the front door without any form of intervention at night. There were many nights (from 10 pm to 7 am) when I was left alone to man the cash registers, self-checkouts, and customer service desk. A common scam teenagers pulled on me was to call the customer service phone so that I would be out of sight of the front door, and keep me on the phone long enough for her friends to walk out the door with a bunch of merchandise. I also witnessed many many many people cheating the self-checkouts, which I was usually in charge of when I worked the day shift. These particular self-checkouts had long belts and a long space between the scanner and the bagging area. That did not stop families from forming a chain of children to furtively pass expensive items down the line and into the bags, and teenagers from trying to buy beer- thinking we didn't check IDs at the self-checkouts. I had a few foreign people try to confuse me by saying it was legal to drink in their country, and they'd show me passports and IDs in other languages. I'd have to tell them that they were currently in America where we are uncool, and they'd suddenly pretend to not understand me. Sigh.
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