Is it wrong of me to
believe that people (kids) shouldn’t get prizes just for showing up? Shouldn’t
they have to work hard to earn awards? I remember the feeling of pride and
accomplishment when I would win something at school (lots of academic awards). It diminishes the winners to give awards to
everyone. I feel like it might make the
winners feel like they shouldn’t even try next time, if they are not to be
distinguished for their efforts. My
5-year-old (Cougar) has a pre-k graduation next week, and my 6-year-old (Tyger)
has a kindergarten awards assembly. I
will be at both ceremonies, but I do not have to pretend to understand why
there is a need for them.
I love my kids to pieces, but I’m not big into
celebrating every little thing. Did I
save hair from their first haircuts? Nope.
Did I take monthly pictures of them as babies? Nope. I did take pictures, but only at random and
on holidays. My parenting style is more
laid-back (laissez-faire?) than some. I’m
not trying to be a helicopter mom OR a best friend. I’m trying to strike a balance between the
two. For example, I make sure Cougar
takes his medicine and that both boys take their showers every night, but I do
not hover over them making sure they brush their teeth. They know what they are supposed to do. They
play in the backyard unsupervised. At 5
and 6, they are old enough to be responsible for their own actions. They know right from wrong. I don’t need to be present for every second
of their lives anymore. Sometimes this
makes me sad, but it’s part of growing up.
I also believe that adults
should not be rewarded for nothing. I
have immense respect for people who earn their college degrees and/or
promotions at work. I also respect every
mother who has gone through a natural childbirth, every person who has achieved
a journeyman’s license, and every person who has completed a vo-tech
program.
You have to earn your way
in this world, and handing out awards to everyone who just shows up is not
setting a good example of real life for our children. This practice is setting the bar very low, so
that the kids don’t even have to try anymore.
I am not sure your argument holds water. It is great that you have settled on your style and that you believe it is working for you but that does not mean that other styles do not work. I have seen awards given to everyone, even the last place team, and it did not seem to result in any adverse behavior of the children. Getting through school is an achievement. Heck, it might be good to celebrate each year a child makes it through. I do take exception to the teeth brushing. Enforcing that rule can result in a massive payoff later in life.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your argument it makes be believe even more that you would enjoy reading Atlas Shrugged or The Fountainhead.