Iffity If

If If If If Only . . . . .

If you could have stopped aging at any point in your life up to the present, how old would you want to remain?
- I must say that 21 sounds good to me.  My body was still firm in all the right places.  I could smoke and drink if I wanted.  Best of all, that's a good age to try new things, explore, and have fun.

If you could suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would it be?
- Music.  I'd like to have the talent of playing the guitar and piano expertly and easily.  This would not just be for my benefit.  I would try to be a music therapist, healing people with music.  Or I'd volunteer at various places like nursing homes.  I'm not sure about using the talent to be famous; there are several drawbacks to that.

If you could be guaranteed one thing in life besides money, what would you ask for?
- Oh, Genie, please grant me a life partner.  Money is no fun without someone to share it with.  Life is no fun alone, even for a loner like me.  Let this life partner be not perfect, but perfect for ME.

If you could have any one specific power over other people, what would it be?
- Telepathy.  I am sooo curious all the time.  I want to know what people are thinking, and not just people close by.  I want to be able to think of a person and be able to hear his or her thoughts.  I just WANT to know.  What DO other people think about?

If you could become famous for something you don't currently do,what would it be?
- Writing.  I've always wanted to write books and be a published author.  It's my lifelong dream.  I used to write all the time, short stories just for fun. But to come up with an original idea and be able to express it in a book format would be my greatest accomplishment.

If you could spend one year alone in the wilderness, where would you go?
- Maybe the Ozark mountains.  Maybe I'd hike the Pacific Trail.  Maybe I'd just rent a cabin somewhere in a sparsely populated area of Colorado or Oregon or Alaska.

If you could bring back any past leader of your country, who would it be?
- Bill Clinton.  Say what you want about his personal life, but at least he managed to keep the country out of debt.  He also gave excellent speeches, which is a quality we haven't seen since he left office.

If you had to choose the most valuable thing you ever learned, what would it be?
- TELL THE TRUTH.  I am brutally honest, and I expect others to be honest with me.  I despise liars and cheats and fakers.  I lose more friends because of my total honesty than because of anything else, but I don't care.  Just tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

If you could have a song written about you, what musician would you want to compose it, who would perform it, and what would it be called?
- Maybe a collaboration between Ani Difranco and Beck, possibly in the style of "Debra."  But of course the title would have something to do with me.

Marriage: The Good Stuff (AKA My husband is Going to Hate me Posting This)

MARRIAGE- The Really Good Details You Don't Find Out Till After it's too Late.

So, at this point, as I'm just about to start writing and I'm thinking about where to begin, this song popped in my head- it's by the Shangri-Las, and the particular lyrics I remembered were:

"I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture? Yes, we see
That's when I fell for the leader of the pack."
(vroom, vroom . . . vroom, vroom)

So I listened exclusively to music from the 50s, 60s, and 70s till I was about 13. So what?  The Shangri-Las were cool, man.

Yeah, so I met my husband at the store we were both working at, we became friends for awhile, then we dated 3-5 months, at which point I got pregnant. I found out in February, and we were married in April. I was already clued in on marriage, having been married before, but this was my husband's first marriage. I found out that there are similarities and differences in every marriage, just as in every relationship.

You might start out hiding the gross stuff from your spouse, but that doesn't last long in my experience (although there are some really uptight couples out there who maintain their personal privacies for reasons unknown). When you are with me, I throw that shit right out of the way, and let everything be open. By that, I mean farting, burping, nose picking, wedgie pulling, teeth brushing, using the john, or any and all things you might find gross for another person to see. Here's how I feel. Why build that wall? And ladies- why make applying your makeup a secret? He's going to see you without it, trust me. My biggest hurdle that I am still dealing with is brushing my teeth in front of anybody. I do not know why, but I hate people watching me brush my teeth.  You can watch me take a dump or pick my nose, but not brush my teeth.  But I have let my husband watch if he needs to be in the bathroom at the same time, and I've tried to not make it a big deal. In fact, my policy is to always leave the bathroom door open. WHY SHUT ANY DOORS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU?

As a couple you might start out eating every meal together, and eating the same things.  Many couples do this till the end of time. But eventually it gets more relaxed for at least one or two of those meals.  For example, at lunchtime you may be at work and at breakfast you may get up earlier or later than your spouse.  So there is eventually less of a concerted effort to have those meals together.  That's my theory, anyway, based on solid evidence of my parents and grandparents.  It's also only a reality for those more average type of couples. The average is skewed when you put two people together like myself and my husband, who are very picky, and also picky about different foods.  These days, 6 years into the marriage, we eat maybe 10% of our meals together.  That's what works for us.

Now here's one that has recently made me extremely sad. Going to bed together. By that, I mean AT THE SAME TIME. If neither one of you works a graveyard shift, then go to bed together. I firmly believe in this.  I think marriages crack up when one person stays out of the bedroom later.  It's fine to stay awake later,but it is worth the effort to have that precious time each night to lie in bed talking about whatever, just the two of you, until one person falls asleep.  Then the other one is free to get back up or stay in bed reading or whatever.  My husband and I used to do this every night, but things changed several months ago and I don't know why.  I was so much happier then.

Miscommunications.  Geez, I could fill a book with all the things my husband and have misunderstood about each other.  For example, 5 years into our marriage, we went to Branson for 3 days.  The hotel room had  beds, so we slept in separate beds.  This was my idea, because I was thinking, "Oh, yeah!This is great! I get my own bed, I can stretch out, etc . . ." You can imagine what my husband was thinking and/or expecting, but he apparently was disappointed, which I didn't realize until the drive home.  DUDES OUT THERE- SPEAK THE HELL UP!!. How was I supposed to know he wanted to share a bed? Man, I thought it was a vacation just to have my own bed.  Anyway, that could've been easily resolved, but wasn't. Miscommunication.  In a marriage, if you don't understand or like something the other person is doing, speak up and let them know.  Staying silent is a killer of relationships.

I'm sure I had more examples, but at the moment I've forgotten them.  So there you go, and enjoy.

A Valentine Carol

A Look at Valentine's Days Past and Future

Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday.  The number one reason for this is because it falls in my birth month of February.  There’s really nothing else special about February, other than the shorter number of days.  It’s also usually cold, which is a bummer.  So the one bright light in the whole month is Valentine’s Day.

I have always liked the idea of love and being in love and seeing people in love.  I had my first crush in kindergarten, and every year since I became progressively more boy-crazy.  This is most evident in the quote under my picture in my senior yearbook. 

My mom always celebrated every holiday, and she would give my brother and I some sort of gift and candy every year for Valentine’s Day.  This was the norm, despite my anguished, hormone-filled dreams and crushes, until I got my first boyfriend at age 17.  You have to understand, I would have gone out with almost any boy who asked me back in junior high and high school, but not a single one did.  It wasn’t that I was ugly or dumb or fat or whatever, it was that I was extremely shy and apparently unapproachable.  My first kiss(es) happened during a game of spin the bottle at a friend’s birthday party in 8^th grade. After that, all I had were my fantasies and trashy romances until Josh came along. 

I met him while working at Dairy Queen when I was 16 and he was 17.  We hit it off immediately, and loved working together.  I could be myself around him, and he made work fun.  However, we both ended up quitting DQ before he ever gave me more than a kiss on the cheek- until we met again about a year later when I was working at Hastings.  I was a junior in high school and he was a senior.  We only dated 5 months, but in that span of time we celebrated one Valentine’s Day and went to two proms.  I recall making him a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies from scratch and giving him a CD he wanted that Valentine’s Day.  What did he give me? A last minute gift of a large teddy bear and cheap box of chocolates.  Sigh.

Thus began my struggle with my favorite holiday.  I like to put thought into the gifts I give, and boys/men typically don’t think at all.  One of the first things any boyfriend learned about me is that I have no sense of smell and so I do not appreciate flowers.  Did they listen? What do you think? 

Subsequent boyfriends and one ex-husband continued to make Valentine’s Day a less than stellar experience.  DO NOT GIVE ME FLOWERS- I can’t smell them, and I consider them essentially dead, picked from the ground, lives cut short. As for chocolate, I love it- BUT NOT THE CHEAP STUFF.  Geez.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask for some romance.  Some original idea or gift that requires some thought and effort.

31 life lessons

31 Things I Have Learned in my 31 years

1.    Some people can look you right in the eye and lie to you.

2.    Walmart will literally hire anyone, and they don’t care.

3.    Democrats tend to be better-educated, well-read, and more charismatic than their counterparts. They are capable of thinking about the whole pie and not just their little slice.

4.    Most people never get to live their dream.

5.    Friends may come and go, but family is forever.

6.    Life is full of mistakes and disappointments; all you can do is make the best of it.

7.    Celebrities are in the minority.

8.    The janitor is just as important as the CEO.

9.    If something or someone makes you genuinely laugh, savor the moment.

10. Don’t let people make you feel shame for being who you are.

11.  College should be free so students can take random classes that interest them, and not just the ones necessary for whatever degree.  Also because student loan debt is a huge burden that brand-spanking-new college grads/adults should not be saddled with.

12.  Most people do not get a free ride through life.

13. Don’t take it for granted when you are healthy.  Enjoy the shit out of everything while you still can.

14. People are smart in different ways, so don’t call anyone stupid.

15. Cockroaches are horrible, nasty, disgusting creatures.

16. If you find yourself feeling happy for whatever reason, bottle that shit.

17. If you try to kill yourself but don’t actually die, then it wasn’t meant to be.

18. Having children is for the crazy.

19.  People will do whatever they want, regardless of promises, contracts, etc.

20. The most difficult thing in the world is to completely trust.

21.  Hoping and believing in luck is for fools- that’s why poor people stay poor.

22. Hard work and dedication is the only way to rise above your station in life.

23. Odds are, you’re never going to hit the jackpot, win the lottery, etc.

24. If you are a parent, savor those baby years.

25. Don’t gamble.

26. Don’t smoke or dip tobacco.

27. Go ahead and drink all you want- your liver’s gonna die before marijuana is ever legalized, and you’ve gotta have some vice.

28. If you’re feeling depressed, read a book.

29. If you are bored, waiting in line, tired of TV, etc.- read a book.

30. Pick books with happy endings.

31.  If you are going through a dry spell, read a trashy romance.

If wishes were horses . . .

What could have happened to you or what choices could you have made in high school that would have altered the course of your life?

Many things could have accidentally happened, and many things I could have chosen to change.

----For example, what if I got pregnant? Not that I was sexually active in high school. but what if? I would have 3 choices: abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby.  Thinking back, it's a damn good thing I was on birth control, strict about the use of condoms, and knowledgeable of boys' tricky ways ("Come on, baby, I can't feel anything inside this rubber" and "You can't just leave me hard like this- you gotta take care of it!") Take care of it? You horndog.  I honestly don't know what choice I would have made as a pregnant teenager. I believe to this day that you must experience something to truly know what course of action you would take. 

----I guess I could have fallen into the "wrong crowd." Sometimes I wish I had.  I probably would have had a lot more fun. Hell, I never did have any real fun in high school, and then I even missed out on the real college experience.  Thinking back, knowing what I know now about the education system, I wish I had gone to parties instead of staying home and doing my stupid homework.  A few dropped grades would be worth it since I turned out to not be destined for a big college.  When I think of all the missed parties . . .

----Also, if I had dropped band after 10th grade, I could have gone to vo-tech and learned something useful.  This is something I really wish I had done.  Back then, I was relatively healthy, if mentally and emotionally unstable.  I could have learned something to help me out career-wise, and then maybe I wouldn't have wasted all that money on college and gotten into so much debt.

----Here's one I especially like: What if I wasn't so shy in high school? What if my parents recognized my SAD and depression, and got me on the right meds?  That would have increased the likelihood of me making more friends and not being so goddamn lonely, which may have led to me asking out the boy of my dreams at the time.  Severe anxiety and fear of rejection kept me from asking out a single boy in high school.  Sigh. To all you boys I went to high school with: you missed out.  I was a very horny and lonely teenage girl.  Back then, I actually opened up once you took the initiative to get to know me.  Every single boy/man I have dated has said that I am easy to talk to, very open, very understanding, and in fact, I have been proposed to 4 times and married twice.

I truly wish some things had turned out different for me back then, but what's done is done.

Remembering some firsts

My memory is spotty at best, and the further back I try to remember, the worse it gets.  But just for shits and giggles, I will remember some firsts of my life.  My one rule is that I have to remember whatever it is myself, and not rely on a story I heard- such as my first word was "dada" or some such shit.  So that requires me to jump ahead to when I was about 5 years old.

Let's see, what happened when I was 5?
The first day of kindergarten: I remember crying and crying and not wanting my mom to leave me there.
My first ballet lessons: I cried and cried and did not want my mom to leave me there.
(See a pattern? I had separation anxiety long past the typical age kids have it, which is 2.)

After age 5, I have trouble remembering specific ages and dates, but I can roughly outline some more firsts.

First friend: My cousin Jaime.  She is 10 months younger than me, and our parents used to be very close.  Jaime and I were basically friends from the moment she was born because our parents ensured that we did a lot of stuff together.  Plus, she's family and I love her.
First friend outside family: I remember a girl named Stephanie Randall from first grade.
First best friend: Probably in 3rd or 4th grade I made my first best friend, named Shelly.  I had a couple of other close friends, but Shelly was the one I talked to most on the phone, hung out with most outside of school, and wrote the most notes to.

First surgery that I remember (but NOT my first surgery): My cousin Jaime broke my nose by throwing a pool ring at me.  I was supposed to catch it, but DAMN- it hit me square in the nose at full force.  I think I was around age 7 or so.  My parents waited a week or two because back then standard procedure for a broken nose was to just let it heal on its own, but my parents ultimately decided to have it surgically corrected.  It's still crooked and I can't smell, which I blame my cousin for to this day- more for the crookedness than the not smelling.  I've forgiven her, but not forgotten.

First crush: I think it was around first grade- his name was Adam Hate.

First B grade in school: I think it was in Science in 5th or 6th grade. I typically made straight A's.

First school dance: it was in junior high and I recall doing the "Macarena."  Yup, that dates me. I don't believe I went to another dance until high school prom.

First instrument I played: the recorder in grade school, and then the piano outside of school.  I went on to play the clarinet, bass clarinet, and tenor sax in the junior high/high school school band.

First C grade in school: 10th grade honors American history.  Mr Nelson with the one leg who liked the Doors gave me my first C.  That was the last time I took an honors history class.

First kiss: It was during Spin the Bottle in 8th grade.  I will not mention his name here.

First car: 1993 Ford Escort station wagon. Green. I was 16 with a new license and my first job.  I totaled it the first time I drove in snow, which was about 8 months later.

First job: Dairy Queen- I was 16, and I cashiered, worked the drive-thru, made ice cream cakes, and made other soft-serve items.  I had to work to pay for gas for my car, and then to save up for my second car.

First date: I was in 11th grade, age 17 (almost 18), and it was with a guy named Josh. We went to see The Emperor's New Groove.  He took me to 2 proms that year, but we ended up only dating for 5 months.

First college: Rose State College, because I had a full scholarship for the first year.

First time I moved out of my parent's house: I was 20, and I moved to Tulsa for 2 years.  I never moved back to my parent's house (for longer than a month), but I did move back to my hometown.

First movie that made me cry: Pollyanna, when she breaks her leg.  I was a kid when I saw it.  I also cried for Old Yeller.  Many movies have followed since.

First movie I remember seeing in the theater: Bambi, I think- it was definitely a Disney movie and I was with all my cousins.

First band I really loved: The Beach Boys.  I was always into oldies music-classic rock.

First concert: The Monkees, when I was around 12 or so.  I went with my mom and her friend, who was a huge Monkees fan.  I love the Monkees to this day.

First over 1,000-page book I read: Gone With the Wind- and I read it in grade school. I also read the entire Bible just to say I did it.

First pet of my own: a green parakeet that ended up getting eaten by the cat. I was 10.

First family vacation that I remember (outside of camping trips): Disneyworld in Florida.  I was 10, and I remember having a lot of fun riding the rides.  I also remember that I ran out of books to read on the long drive back home to OK, so my mom let me read hers.  Again, I was 10 and my mom let me read her books. I believe they were murder mysteries.

Perhaps more to come as I continue remembering . . .

Can't sleep, may as well do this.

 Tonight, I am awake and not quite ready for bed.  My oldest son is snoring on the couch next to me. 

What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep, toss and turn, or get up and do something? 

First, I will try the tossing and turning to maybe find a more comfortable sleeping position and thus be able to go back to sleep.  However, that usually doesn't work, so I will get up and do something.  The "something" may involve a snack, the TV, the computer, or a book.  On a rare occasion, I might even do a chore like the dishes or laundry.

 What’s something you should throw away, but can’t?  Explain.

The first, most obvious item is my original marriage certificate and divorce decree from my first marriage.  I can't throw them away because I have to keep a record of it due to my name changes and identity thieves.  Also, my husband is a pack rat.  I would love to throw away all of his white underwear, his ugly green chair, and many other useless things.

 Who’s the smartest person you know?

Sometimes I think it's my dad, sometimes I just don't know.  Everyone is smart or talented in at least one area, so it's difficult to judge.  My dad is more math/science/logic smart.  My husband is more instinctual/street smart.  My brother is financially/business smart.  

 What’s something about yourself that you hope will change, but that probably never will?

I would love to stop being a procrastinator about finishing things I start.  I would also like to stop making snap decisions and following through immediately without thinking it through.  There has to be a middle ground, but I doubt I will ever find it.

 Are you a rule breaker or a rule keeper? Why?

 That depends on the situation.  I've broken laws such as buying cigarettes and alcohol for underage people, jaywalking, and speeding.  These days I like to follow rules that keep me out of jail for the most part, but I would break a rule if it was for a good cause.

Do you have a collection?  If so, what do you collect and why?
I have a lot of books.  I would call that a collection.  I try to read at least 2 books every week, and most of them are library books.  The collection of books I have are the ones that I like to read over and over and/or that have special meaning to me.

 Do you think the world will be better or worse 100 years from now?

Who really knows?  I'm going to take the optimistic view: I say that 100 years from now, we will have sufficiently harnessed the planet's natural energies, such as wind and solar power- AND that we rely on those natural power sources rather than the ones that cause pollution.  In this ideal world, all the countries get along and work together to ensure the future of mankind.  There will be easy solutions to today's serious medical diseases, such as forms of cancer, Hepatitis C, the common cold, diabetes, etc. Perhaps genetic manipulation would be allowed in some cases of babies in the womb with serious health issues.

 Have you ever wished you were the opposite sex?  Explain.

Yes, of course.  I have wished I were a man, but just for a day or two- no longer than a week.  I just want to know what it's like to have a penis and what I can do with it.  I have never met a female who has not wondered about this.  

To Hell with Tradition! (Oh, who am I kidding?)

Tradition

Every culture has traditions, every sub-culture has traditions, every FAMILY has traditions.  Some are wonderful, and some are a burden.

For example, I LOVE eating Easter breakfast at my Grandma's house.  My entire maternal family shows up, and we eat fried breakfast foods galore. Yummy.  It's the only day of the year that I enjoy waking up in the morning.  But here's the flip side: who does the cooking? For most of my life, it was my grandma.  For the last few years, it's been my mom.  Guess who's next in line if we want to keep this tradition alive? Moi, although it will hopefully not happen for a couple decades.    And I'll do it for the sake of my kids and keeping the family tradition (and secret recipe) alive.

And that is what I'm getting at.  The mantle eventually being passed to me.  When my parents are too old, I will most likely have to host Christmas and Thanksgiving at my house.  That's a lot of work.  My mom brought the reality home to me this season, because this year I have not been physically able to help her at all.  Christmas is today, and most of my extended maternal family will be at my parent's house to celebrate.  My mom has to do 95% of the cooking this year, plus make sure the house is clean and decorated and set up for several guests.  She is understandably upset with me right now, but we'll talk it out soon.

The fact of the matter is that I am not physically capable of doing much of anything right now, and it's at the point that my job is threatened and I'm on too many meds.  How am I supposed to cook several side dishes and desserts when both of my arms are in constant pain and partially frozen (due to a bad type of edema)?  And that's not even mentioning the other medical crap that is slowly but surely dragging me down.

I hope the edema is gone by next year, and I will make it up to my mom by cooking up a storm to ease her burden so she can relax a bit.  She does so much for me and my family, and she has her own health issues.  No matter what, we must carry on! We must keep the family traditions alive for my kids and future generations!

my love story

My Love Story

There is a song by Beck called “Debra” and it begins, “I met you at JC Penney . . .” It’s always been one of my favorite songs, ever since I found Beck’s music as a teenager- and in particular, the album Midnite Vultures.  If you want to listen to the actual song with an unofficial (but hilariously accurate) music video, here you go: 

Debra by Beck

So anyway, 2007 was a transition year for me, mostly full of strife and major life changes.  I had left a job I loved (Popeye’s on base) to work at JC Penney for less pay and even less reason.  The only good thing to come out of that year was meeting Troy.

I was hired as sales support, to eventually end up on the stocking team.  Troy was hired to be the receiver- the person who works on the dock receiving trucks.  We were both there before this particular store had its grand opening, and we helped bring it from an empty building space to a full store of merchandise.  Once the store was opened, we began our regular shifts.  We happened to have almost the same schedule, and we both had to start at 5 am or earlier each day. 

When Troy wasn’t busy receiving trucks, he helped my team stock.  I had a lot of fun with that team, joking around and having dirty discussions to embarrass the youngest team member.  Eventually- I really don’t remember how long it took- Troy and I began talking at work in the backroom as we opened boxes and prepared stuff to be stocked.  The whole team was around us, but I started making a point to work near Troy whenever possible.  If he was on the dock, I would come up with reasons to go back there- for example, to throw away trash and cardboard.  He was the person usually responsible for making bales when the baler was full, so I had him teach me how to do it. 

I don’t remember what we talked about at work, but eventually he gave me his phone number.  He knew I was going through some tough times, and he said I could call him if I needed to talk.  I think I called that same night.  We spent several nights talking on the phone for 8 hours straight- all night.  I would sit on the floor with my phone plugged into the charger.  I was 24 and he was 35 and we were acting like silly teenagers.

We began dating in the last week of September of 2007, and we moved in together in November.  I found out I was pregnant on my birthday, in February of 2008.  We were married in April of 2008 and Tyger was born that October.  Cougar was born in January of 2010. 

He is the only person- male or female- to get me to watch scary movies.  He has also introduced me to some of my now-favorite films, such as Full Metal Jacket, The Green Mile, and The Shawshank Redemption. 

For the curious, we bonded over several things, despite the 11-year age difference.  We both love 80s music and movies, for one thing.  Our song is even the theme song for The Breakfast Club.  We both felt like misfits, misunderstood by society.  We both have incurable diseases to compare notes and sympathize about- I know that one sounds bad, but we don’t care what other people think about it.  We are both naturally quiet, loner types until you get to know us.  We are both interested in crime- not committing it, but watching others and trying to understand it.  We like a lot of the same shows.  This may sound hokey, but we each felt a “click” when we met, like we were meant to be.

The Woman Code

Every human female of an age to understand she is a woman shall abide by the Woman Code.  Women have historically been perceived as the lesser gender, and been taken advantage of.  Our bodies may be weaker, but our minds are wilier.  We, as a pack, as a gender, are craftier and stronger in spirit than men realize.  Aren't we the life-bringers, the child rearers, the homemakers, the career women, the teachers, the lovers, the caretakers, and the defenders of our families?  We do it all because we are in an age where we must, and we women are the only ones who understand.  But some ancient ideas/rules hold true, and they shall be known here as the Woman Code.

- When we reach the age of dating, we do not steal each other's boyfriends or move in on a friend's interest.  As married adults, we do not wreck marriages by tempting otherwise loyal husbands to stray.  Sometimes relationships do not work out, and they do not need the added stress of cheating.  The mistresses/secret lovers defend themselves by saying that the wife/girlfriend should have kept her man interested and he wouldn't have strayed.  This may be true in some cases, but it is still WRONG to actively chase after an attached man.

- Women must never reveal their true power over men.  It is not sex, it is all in the mind.  A woman figures out her man pretty quickly, and knows how to get what she wants while making him think it was his idea.  However, this must be done delicately so that he never figures it out.

- The bond of sisterhood and friendship must be unbreakable even through long periods of no communication.  A woman may find her kindred spirit, and with that person she can pick up wherever they left off, however long it's been.  Meanwhile, shared secrets are sacred and promises are not to be broken.

- Women must stick together.  We are all we have against the tyranny of men.  There are many more men in power than women, so we must do what we can to make our voices heard.  We must get out and vote, hold our ground, speak our minds, and refuse to be silenced or ignored.  Sometimes it has to come down to chicks over dicks.


***this is a work in progress and I would appreciate any help . . . please comment below.***