Working poor doing without

The working poor do without a lot.  I am defining the working poor as those people who work and live paycheck to paycheck.  Whether they have kids or not, they make too much money to qualify for food stamps, but not enough money to afford extras.  They work and work and work, and barely make enough to survive. 

I identify myself as a member of the working poor, and I have been since the age of 20, when I moved out of my parent’s house.  I’ve worked a string of part and full-time jobs since the age of 16, but working for survival started when I set out on my own.  I had a year of college under my belt, but no skills to speak of.  Subsequently, I ended up only qualifying for unskilled jobs in the customer service area and warehouse work.  I’ve been a cashier, customer service rep, vendor, and stocker for over 10 different companies.  In 12 years, I’ve only been on food stamps for 1 year.  In this time, I’ve been denied many things the middle and upper classes take for granted.

The biggest item is food.  The ability to buy whatever you want at the grocery store is a foreign concept to the working poor.  So is eating out at any type of restaurant.  Even getting Mickey D’s for a family of 4 will cost over $10, and that is money that would be better spent on gas.  When money is scarce, like between paychecks, my family will be living on sandwiches.  And I know we are not the only ones.  Some items we cannot always afford are in the meat and produce sections, such as beef, pork chops, chicken, oranges, broccoli, and grapes.  Essentially all foods sold by the pound.  Cheese is also an expensive item.  Booze is an extension of the food group, and it is something the working poor can rarely afford.  Sometimes I just want to end my day with an ice cold flavored beer or shot of chocolate schnapps.  Does it happen? Maybe once a year. 

An interesting side effect of not having enough food is that when the pantry is actually stocked, the working poor hurry to empty it.  Thus, we eat all the good stuff in a hurry, leaving the bare remains to last the rest of the pay period.  This is the same thing we do with money: spend it before it’s gone.  It makes no sense to outsiders, but to us, it makes perfect sense.  The cheese will be gone (eaten) in a day or two.  I can’t really explain this any better- you have to live it to understand.

Entertainment is another thing the working poor have less of.  We may have TVs and basic cable.  We might even have computers and the internet.  But do we go out to movies?  Do we go to concerts?  To sporting events?  How about taking a nice vacation?  NOPE.  These are all too expensive.  I have to wait for movies to come out on DVD before I can watch them.  I can’t even afford to buy my books- I get them from the library. 

Something must be done to enable the working poor to do more than just survive.  Raise the minimum wage, maybe?  Let us learn what it’s like to not be afraid of tomorrow.

I'm here! Where's my trophy?

Is it wrong of me to believe that people (kids) shouldn’t get prizes just for showing up? Shouldn’t they have to work hard to earn awards? I remember the feeling of pride and accomplishment when I would win something at school (lots of academic awards).  It diminishes the winners to give awards to everyone.  I feel like it might make the winners feel like they shouldn’t even try next time, if they are not to be distinguished for their efforts.  My 5-year-old (Cougar) has a pre-k graduation next week, and my 6-year-old (Tyger) has a kindergarten awards assembly.  I will be at both ceremonies, but I do not have to pretend to understand why there is a need for them.

I love my kids to pieces, but I’m not big into celebrating every little thing.  Did I save hair from their first haircuts? Nope.  Did I take monthly pictures of them as babies? Nope.  I did take pictures, but only at random and on holidays.  My parenting style is more laid-back (laissez-faire?) than some.  I’m not trying to be a helicopter mom OR a best friend.  I’m trying to strike a balance between the two.  For example, I make sure Cougar takes his medicine and that both boys take their showers every night, but I do not hover over them making sure they brush their teeth.  They know what they are supposed to do. They play in the backyard unsupervised.  At 5 and 6, they are old enough to be responsible for their own actions.  They know right from wrong.  I don’t need to be present for every second of their lives anymore.  Sometimes this makes me sad, but it’s part of growing up.  

I also believe that adults should not be rewarded for nothing.  I have immense respect for people who earn their college degrees and/or promotions at work.  I also respect every mother who has gone through a natural childbirth, every person who has achieved a journeyman’s license, and every person who has completed a vo-tech program. 

You have to earn your way in this world, and handing out awards to everyone who just shows up is not setting a good example of real life for our children.  This practice is setting the bar very low, so that the kids don’t even have to try anymore. 

Remission, or feeling like a "normal" person

So, I went through treatment for my Hepatitis C over last summer.  I was on Sovaldi and Interferon (chemo-like drugs) for 3 months, from May to July of 2014.    The Sovaldi was $1000 per pill, but my insurance covered it so that I only had to pay $5 per month.  The Interferon was in the form of a shot once a week, performed by my husband (thank goodness- there's no way I could do it to myself).  Side effects of treatment for me included extreme fatigue, weight loss, and hair loss.  Basically, I slept for 3 months and acquired 2 bald spots and rapidly thinning hair.  The hair loss did not start until August, AFTER treatment was finished, and it continued until December.  At that point, I had to cut my hair down to about 2-3 inches long.  I got a fun haircut, so it turned out okay.  I also lost about 50 pounds.  The weight just melted off, probably because I was barely awake long enough to eat.

After treatment, my blood tests showed that my liver enzymes were NOT elevated anymore.  HEY . . . REMISSION!!!!

In order to explain the way I am feeling now, 6 months post treatment, I have to say how I felt before.  Since I likely contracted Hep C as a 3-month-old baby, I can say I've had it my whole life.  31 years.  I have always been tired, and more so the older I got.  It was a feeling of heaviness that never let me go.  I never had much energy (and less as I aged), so I stayed out of physical activities like sports.  As an adult, I needed a nap every day and plenty of sleep at night.  As a teenager, I became depressed and withdrawn from life.  I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety disorder at age 19.  The chronic fatigue and depression are typical side effects of Hep C.  

I have never known another way of life.  I have always been tired, ALWAYS.  The fatigue was just a part of me that I did not realize until it was gone.

That's right.  It's gone now.  The saying that you don't know what you've got until it's gone is true.  I did not realize that I had been so tired my entire life until I suddenly WASN'T.  

It's weird to have all this energy.  At first, it seemed excessive, but now I know it's just how normal people feel.  I actually look around my house and notice things that need to be done, like laundry and dishes and sweeping.  I don't know what to do with myself when I'm home alone- when the kids are at school, my hubby is working, and my own work is done for the day.  So I pace the house a lot.  My favorite thing to do has always been reading, but now it's difficult to settle down and concentrate.  This energy is so new to me.  I feel restless.  I don't need as much sleep, and it's difficult to nap.

Is this how healthy people feel?