Taboo Subjects

Religion, Politics, and Money- Oh My!!

Polite conversation is not supposed to include religion or politics, and some people also add the subject of money to the list.  Within immediate families, these subjects may be discussed or not.  Within extended families, these subjects are discussed a bit less.  Within a circle of friends, these subjects may or may not be discussed, depending on how serious and/or heated they are willing to get.  But with strangers?  Do not say anything, except to agree if you must respond- even if you don't agree.  At least that is the popular consensus about these topics and how they must be dealt with.

However, most of my family, including my extended family members, know my political views.  I do not talk about religion except to a few select people, due to the very sensitive nature of the subject in my geographical area and the way I was raised.  About money?  I only just realized that it is not discussed often.  I know that some members of my family have 10 times more money than I do. I am pretty sure my immediate family (husband and kids) are the poorest in the whole bunch.  

I know I've mentioned this before, but I do not like secrets, and I'm very curious.  I'd like to know the views of everyone on all these topics.  I don't judge, I have an open mind.  I just like to know things.  In fact, I LOVE knowing that people can tell me anything.  I just wish some of them realized it.  So, to go first, here are my views:

Starting with Religion
I took a quiz online and here are my results.

Your top result isSecular Humanism

Your Complete Results:

	1.	Secular Humanism(100%)			More Info
	2.	Unitarian Universalism(93%)			More Info
	3.	Liberal Quakers - Religious Society of Friends (82%)			More Info
	4.	Non-theist(73%)			More Info
	5.	Taoism (69%)			More Info
	6.	Theravada Buddhism(69%)			More Info
	7.	Mainline - Liberal Christian Protestants(59%)			More Info
	8.	New Age (57%)			More Info
	9.	Neo-Pagan(56%)			More Info
	10.	Mahayana Buddhism(55%)			More Info
	11.	Jainism (53%)			More Info
	12.	Orthodox Quaker - Religious Society of Friends (45%)			More Info
	13.	Reform Judaism (44%)			More Info
	14.	Sikhism (38%)			More Info
	15.	Scientology(38%)			More Info
	16.	New Thought(36%)			More Info
	17.	Hinduism(30%)

I like to think of myself as a freethinker, although I do side with the humanist point of view.  I keep an open mind about all beliefs.  I was raised Christian- Methodist, and I went to church regularly until I got my first job at 16.  However, I started questioning the Christian's way of thinking as early as 12.

Politics
Another quiz . . .

Your best fit is...

Solid Liberal-along with 15% of the public.

"Generally affluent and highly educated, most Solid Liberals strongly support the social safety net and take very liberal positions on virtually all issues. Most say they always vote Democratic and are unflagging supporters of Barack Obama. Overall, Solid Liberals are very optimistic about the nation’s future and are the most likely to say that America’s success is linked to its ability to change, rather than its reliance on long-standing principles. On foreign policy, Solid Liberals overwhelmingly believe that good diplomacy – rather than military strength – is the best way to ensure peace."

I've been a liberal since I was old enough to understand what it meant.  I am the only liberal in my entire family- including extended relatives- that I know of.  I am generally peace-loving and giving, and I hate war.I also approve of finding alternative energy sources, and getting farther out of the oil business.  Fracking is a horrible practice that has caused many earthquakes in my state, where we used to have next to no earthquakes.

Money

I'm not taking a quiz here.  I will simply state that I like money, I like using it, and I wish I had more of it.  I have made many, many money mistakes over the years, but I try not to regret them.  I also believe that we must live while we are alive, and in that spirit I am less of a saver.  I will spend money on a day at an amusement park or downtown, even if it causes money to be tight for a month or two.  I wish I had some savings, but currently my husband and I have too many medical bills and 2 kids to raise.  Trying to save money when you are so poor that you are getting food stamps is a joke.  So I will take that rare night at the movies when I can grab it, because life is for the living.

Iffity If

If If If If Only . . . . .

If you could have stopped aging at any point in your life up to the present, how old would you want to remain?
- I must say that 21 sounds good to me.  My body was still firm in all the right places.  I could smoke and drink if I wanted.  Best of all, that's a good age to try new things, explore, and have fun.

If you could suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would it be?
- Music.  I'd like to have the talent of playing the guitar and piano expertly and easily.  This would not just be for my benefit.  I would try to be a music therapist, healing people with music.  Or I'd volunteer at various places like nursing homes.  I'm not sure about using the talent to be famous; there are several drawbacks to that.

If you could be guaranteed one thing in life besides money, what would you ask for?
- Oh, Genie, please grant me a life partner.  Money is no fun without someone to share it with.  Life is no fun alone, even for a loner like me.  Let this life partner be not perfect, but perfect for ME.

If you could have any one specific power over other people, what would it be?
- Telepathy.  I am sooo curious all the time.  I want to know what people are thinking, and not just people close by.  I want to be able to think of a person and be able to hear his or her thoughts.  I just WANT to know.  What DO other people think about?

If you could become famous for something you don't currently do,what would it be?
- Writing.  I've always wanted to write books and be a published author.  It's my lifelong dream.  I used to write all the time, short stories just for fun. But to come up with an original idea and be able to express it in a book format would be my greatest accomplishment.

If you could spend one year alone in the wilderness, where would you go?
- Maybe the Ozark mountains.  Maybe I'd hike the Pacific Trail.  Maybe I'd just rent a cabin somewhere in a sparsely populated area of Colorado or Oregon or Alaska.

If you could bring back any past leader of your country, who would it be?
- Bill Clinton.  Say what you want about his personal life, but at least he managed to keep the country out of debt.  He also gave excellent speeches, which is a quality we haven't seen since he left office.

If you had to choose the most valuable thing you ever learned, what would it be?
- TELL THE TRUTH.  I am brutally honest, and I expect others to be honest with me.  I despise liars and cheats and fakers.  I lose more friends because of my total honesty than because of anything else, but I don't care.  Just tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

If you could have a song written about you, what musician would you want to compose it, who would perform it, and what would it be called?
- Maybe a collaboration between Ani Difranco and Beck, possibly in the style of "Debra."  But of course the title would have something to do with me.

Marriage: The Good Stuff (AKA My husband is Going to Hate me Posting This)

MARRIAGE- The Really Good Details You Don't Find Out Till After it's too Late.

So, at this point, as I'm just about to start writing and I'm thinking about where to begin, this song popped in my head- it's by the Shangri-Las, and the particular lyrics I remembered were:

"I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture? Yes, we see
That's when I fell for the leader of the pack."
(vroom, vroom . . . vroom, vroom)

So I listened exclusively to music from the 50s, 60s, and 70s till I was about 13. So what?  The Shangri-Las were cool, man.

Yeah, so I met my husband at the store we were both working at, we became friends for awhile, then we dated 3-5 months, at which point I got pregnant. I found out in February, and we were married in April. I was already clued in on marriage, having been married before, but this was my husband's first marriage. I found out that there are similarities and differences in every marriage, just as in every relationship.

You might start out hiding the gross stuff from your spouse, but that doesn't last long in my experience (although there are some really uptight couples out there who maintain their personal privacies for reasons unknown). When you are with me, I throw that shit right out of the way, and let everything be open. By that, I mean farting, burping, nose picking, wedgie pulling, teeth brushing, using the john, or any and all things you might find gross for another person to see. Here's how I feel. Why build that wall? And ladies- why make applying your makeup a secret? He's going to see you without it, trust me. My biggest hurdle that I am still dealing with is brushing my teeth in front of anybody. I do not know why, but I hate people watching me brush my teeth.  You can watch me take a dump or pick my nose, but not brush my teeth.  But I have let my husband watch if he needs to be in the bathroom at the same time, and I've tried to not make it a big deal. In fact, my policy is to always leave the bathroom door open. WHY SHUT ANY DOORS BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU?

As a couple you might start out eating every meal together, and eating the same things.  Many couples do this till the end of time. But eventually it gets more relaxed for at least one or two of those meals.  For example, at lunchtime you may be at work and at breakfast you may get up earlier or later than your spouse.  So there is eventually less of a concerted effort to have those meals together.  That's my theory, anyway, based on solid evidence of my parents and grandparents.  It's also only a reality for those more average type of couples. The average is skewed when you put two people together like myself and my husband, who are very picky, and also picky about different foods.  These days, 6 years into the marriage, we eat maybe 10% of our meals together.  That's what works for us.

Now here's one that has recently made me extremely sad. Going to bed together. By that, I mean AT THE SAME TIME. If neither one of you works a graveyard shift, then go to bed together. I firmly believe in this.  I think marriages crack up when one person stays out of the bedroom later.  It's fine to stay awake later,but it is worth the effort to have that precious time each night to lie in bed talking about whatever, just the two of you, until one person falls asleep.  Then the other one is free to get back up or stay in bed reading or whatever.  My husband and I used to do this every night, but things changed several months ago and I don't know why.  I was so much happier then.

Miscommunications.  Geez, I could fill a book with all the things my husband and have misunderstood about each other.  For example, 5 years into our marriage, we went to Branson for 3 days.  The hotel room had  beds, so we slept in separate beds.  This was my idea, because I was thinking, "Oh, yeah!This is great! I get my own bed, I can stretch out, etc . . ." You can imagine what my husband was thinking and/or expecting, but he apparently was disappointed, which I didn't realize until the drive home.  DUDES OUT THERE- SPEAK THE HELL UP!!. How was I supposed to know he wanted to share a bed? Man, I thought it was a vacation just to have my own bed.  Anyway, that could've been easily resolved, but wasn't. Miscommunication.  In a marriage, if you don't understand or like something the other person is doing, speak up and let them know.  Staying silent is a killer of relationships.

I'm sure I had more examples, but at the moment I've forgotten them.  So there you go, and enjoy.