ideal sex ed

If you could decide exactly how, when, and where your children would learn sex education, what would you consider to be ideal?

In today's world, they will learn something about it by the time they reach first grade.  I did, and that was back in the 1980s.  But I think I didn't really understand until I asked my mom what a virgin was when I was 10, after watching an episode of 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.'  She was put on the spot, and had to explain the basics to me.  That was not an ideal situation.  Also, where I went to school, we had absolutely NO sex ed classes. Ever.  We had a little demonstration and video about menstruation in 5th grade (only the girls), and a kind of large mandatory forum of many schools put into one auditorium to talk about abstinence and STDs- in 11th grade, for one day, and NOT coed. It was clearly a scare tactic, and much too late.  I knew several girls who were already having regular sex with their boyfriends, and even one pregnant classmate.  There was no explaining about sex beyond the basic mechanics, no passing out of condoms or practical advice on how to avoid unwanted sexual encounters.  I know that my friends and I viewed that day as a field trip, or a free get-out-of-school day.  Personally, everything I knew about sex at that time was learned from my grandma's dirty Harlequins.

For my kids, I would like there to be a section in their biology class that focuses on reproduction and takes about a week to get through.  I would like this to happen in middle school.  I would also expect condoms and birth control to be explained and encouraged.  And to drive the point home, I would like them to have to watch several graphic videos of women giving birth, presentations about the realities of STDs as told by real people, and maybe one HIV-positive person.  I do not want the subject of sex to be glossed over or skipped completely.  I would like all the options discussed, including the reality that sexual situations will soon be presenting themselves, if they aren't already.  I want them to know what to do in a situation that they do not want to have sex, and in a situation that they do want to. I do not want them to feel ashamed of their bodies or unprepared. 

In addition, I'd like there to be a mandatory sex ed class in their first year of high school, just to reinforce the information.  And when they start dating, I will provide them condoms- JUST IN CASE.  I will stress that they should not feel pressured to do anything they don't want to do, because I know that girls can be as forceful and horny as boys but also that sometimes the attraction is not mutual.  I don't want them to sexually active so early, but I know that it will happen- so I'll be prepared.  If they have a girl over to "study," the bedroom door will be fully open.  They will have curfews when they go on dates.