Monday, September 21, 2020

Wherein I rhapsodize about Piers Anthony.

 Oh, man. Where do I even begin?  Piers Anthony, the creative genius, the prolific writer, the ballsy wacko.  This dude is 86 years old right now, and still cranking out books and a monthly newsletter.  I'm a lifelong superfan of (almost) everything he creates.

So I must've been about 11 when I read my first Xanth book, Demons Don't Dream (1994), and I've been hooked ever since.  Of course, the first book in the Xanth series is A Spell for Chameleon (1977), which happens to be my favorite book of all time.  It has everything I could ever want in a fantasy novel: humor, a quest, and interesting characters.  I mean, you have the perfect anti-hero/foil in poor, (supposedly) doomed Bink,  The way his surroundings play off him is hilarious and masterful writing.  I've read this book countless times, and I recommend it to people a few times a week.  It's my go-to comfort read.

But while Piers Anthony might be best known for the Xanth series, he has written many, many more books about a vast variety of subjects.  For example, the second-most common book that I recommend is Rings of Ice (1974)It's definitely considered sci-fi, and it's about as far from the happy, light fantasy of Xanth as you can get.  It's a dystopian kind of action-adventure, and grittier than his other works.  Basically, Earth is flooding and humans are trying to find high ground and survive, no matter what they have to do along the way.  


Another of my favorites is Killobyte (1993).  It's about virtual reality, and what can happen if the players are hacked, unable to log out, and taunted.  Will they die in real life?  Or will they defeat the evil genius?

I feel that I must include a mention of 2 of his strangest works. Pornucopia (1989) and The Magic Fart.  Here's the goodreads description of Pornucopia: "Pornucopia is a picaresque black comedy that transgresses all bounds of everyday good taste. It begins in a near-future world where sex-vending machines and genital transplants are taken for granted. "  Yep.  This book is insane. I could see where it was supposed to go, but it missed the mark.  The description doesn't do it justice.   . . . I mean, the main character swaps out his tiny ween for a muti-tool (various sizes and shapes and uses).  He then goes on a journey and his multi-functional member helps along the way.  I can never regain the time I spent reading this.  The Magic Fart is the sequel, and I did not read it.

(Wait a second. Now that I've mentally revisited Pornucopia, I kinda want to try it again.  I think I was in my late teens when I first read it.😉)

So anyway, I've been hoping for a Xanth movie for YEARS.  It's been in talks many, many, many times, but never goes into production.  I would love to see a movie of A Spell for Chameleon.  But I'm extremely worried about it because of the pattern that's emerged:  Isaac Asimov died before his book, I, Robot, was made into a movie . . . And Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, same thing.  Those are two very similar authors . . .


I just remembered a relevant song

Detachable Penis by King Missile:









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